Jerome Corsi

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Jerome Robert Corsi (born August 31, 1946) is a conservative author, conspiracy theorist, one of those doctors who absolutely insists you call him “Doctor” even though he doesn’t practice medicine, and a dick.

Jerome Corsi has made a very nice living out of forwarding ideas that are blatantly false. These include, but are not limited to: Muslims practice mosque-sanctioned man-boy love; John Kerry is Jewish (when he’s about as WASPY as they come—just take a look at those photos of him skiing); Barack Obama deals drugs out of his Senate office; and Hillary Clinton is a lesbian. Wait a minute. Scratch that last one.

His most influential books are Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry and The Obama Nation: Leftist Politics and the Cult of Personality. He has also written such works as Black Gold Stranglehold: The Myth of Scarcity and the Politics of Oil; Showdown with Nuclear Iran: Radical Islam’s Messianic Mission to Destroy Israel and Cripple the United States; and Book Titles: The Longer They Are, the Wackier the Content Contained Therein.

Despite the fact that he’s the kind of writer you’d expect to find strictly on the self-publishing circuit, Jerome Corsi is a New York Times #1 bestselling author. But then again, so is Duane “The Rock” Johnson.

On October 7, 2008, Corsi was detained by Kenyan immigration officers after attempting to stage an Obama Nation book launch at a Nairobi hotel. Initially it was believed that Corsi was being held on a “work visa technicality,” but in a bizarre twist, the Kenyan government actually said outright that they didn’t care for his ideas, foregoing the time-honored tradition of making up fake reasons to strong-arm people. Corsi was deported shortly thereafter, yet another bizarre twist, in that an American agitator was deported from a foreign country, rather than the other way around.

Contents

Early Life

Jerome Corsi began doing other people’s election-year dirty laundry from his birth on August 31, 1946, a birthday he shares with Eldridge Cleaver, Richard Gere, Van Morrison, and the lead guitarist from Whitesnake, Winger, and—for a brief period in the late 90s long after they had any relevance to anyone outside of Long Island, New Jersey, and certain parts of Eastern Europe, where hair metal lives forever—Dokken.

In 1968, Corsi graduated with a Bachelor of Dick Arts from Case Western Reserve University, alma mater of esteemed kook Dennis Kucinich, as well as the first public injury lawyer to advertise on television. Four years later, Corsi earned his PhD (Pretty-huge Dick) degree in Political Science from Harvard University, dick quasar of such dick superstars as Bill Frist, Lou Dobbs, and the Unabomber. Corsi’s dissertation was titled “Prior Restraint, Prior Punishment, and Political Dissent: a Moral and Legal Evaluation.” One images that the moral and legal evaluation in question points to a vast left-wing kabal orchestrated by John Kerry and carried out by Barack Obama.

Career

For many years, Corsi listed his occupation as a financial services marketing specialist, about as dick a job title as they come. In 2004, he published Unfit for Command, firmly ensconcing himself as a professional sensationalist.

In January 2005, Corsi told the Boston Herald that he planned to run for John Kerry’s Senate seat in 2008; strangely enough, this happened to be right around the time his publisher was deciding whether or not to renew another print run of Unfit for Command. For a short time, Corsi also ran for president in the 2008 election, but dropped out in July 2007, presumably after feeling the sudden compulsion to write an unsubstantiated, misleading, inaccurate, and/or mean-spirited tell-all about himself.

Of course, Corsi’s dickery can sometimes be even-handed. In March 2008, he reported that a Muslim terrorist group with ties to both international drug cartels and al-Qaeda had made sizable contributions to the McCain campaign. If that’s the case, why is McCain still traveling on a campaign bus? Don’t you think he’d go for a Gulfstream V? Or at least a Gulfstream IV (but probably not a III—those only have a maximum range of 3,500 nautical miles).

Unfit for Command

In August 2004, coincidentally timed to coincide with the Democratic National Convention, Corsi released Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry. He co-authored it with John O’Neill, spokesman of the Swift Dicks for Truth.

Unfit for Command was published by noted dick publisher Regnery Publishing, which has given voice to such conservative blowhards as Newt Gingrich and Ann Coulter. In the book, Corsi criticizes Kerry’s judgment in battle, his truthfulness, his entitlement to certain medals, his later anti-war activities, and, in the appendix, his barbecuing skills—apparently, Kerry is a little too heavy handed with the Heinz 57 Sauce.

Of course, neither O’Neill nor Corsi ever had any firsthand experience with Kerry’s service, and Corsi was never in Vietnam, or in any conflict, or even in any of the armed forces. And he didn’t interview everyone who served with Kerry. Aside from that, though, the book is factually spot-on.

In 2007, Corsi sued Regnery’s parent company, Eagle Publishing, over reported sales figures and royalties from the book, claiming the company deliberately employed deceptive and fraudulent tactics. If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle dick.

The Obama Nation

Corsi’s book The Obama Nation: Leftist Politics and the Cult of Personality was released in August 2008, three weeks in advance of the Democratic National Convention, so that it had time to filter through all that news about Michael Phelps and Russia invading Georgia and all that other crap most people forgot about a day or two after it was over.

Unlike Unfit for Command, this time Corsi forewent lying by omission, hurling himself headlong into straight-up unsubstantiated innuendo, “supported” by deliberately misleading and inaccurate “facts.” Despite the book’s well-publicized dishonesty, it still reached #1 on the New York Times bestseller list, which sounds a lot more impressive than it actually is considering its main competitors were Tori Spelling’s memoir, Madonna’s brother’s autobiography, and some snoozer about India’s impact on the global distribution of power.

Among Corsi’s accusations in the book: Obama still does drugs and maybe even sells them; Obama is BFF with several known terrorists; Obama is also BFF with Islam and radical politics; and Obama is not nearly as good at basketball as both he and his wife would lead you to believe. In fact, he’s kind of a brick artist.

Intentionally written to smear Obama, and defeat him in the 2008 U.S. Presidential election, the book—whose ridiculous ideas continue to be forwarded both by Sarah Palin and in some cases John McCain himself—might actually wind up having the exact opposite effect.

Criticism

Jerome Corsi has been criticized for making anti-Islamic, anti-Catholic, anti-Semitic, and homophobic statements, as well as exploiting racial fears and hatred for his own personal gain. Silver lining: Americans really don’t read all that much, especially not the kind of Americans dumb enough to actually believe him.

It is entirely possible that Jerome Corsi suffers from a condition known as “liarrhea,” in which he just can’t stop the incredible torrent of shit spewing out his language hole.

Oh, yeah, he’s also a 9/11 conspiracy theorist. And one of those kooks who think the U.S. government wants dismantle itself and then form a North American Union with Canada and Mexico. Like Canada and Mexico would touch the U.S. economy with a ten-foot pole right about now.


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